Flu Season, Courtesy of the Army

With Steve's instructor position, his schedule changes all the time. Unfortunately, while class is in session, he rarely gets a chance to go to church, and I usually end up going alone every week. (Which causes some confusion--people inviting me to "singles" small groups or Bible studies for women who want to evangelize to their spouse. I try to explain that he would actually like to be there, but can't.)

This past Sunday was one of the rare weeks that we were going to be able to attend church together, and we were both looking forward to it. Steve was scheduled to work all day on Saturday, and usually when he does that he gets in mid- to late morning the next day. This week, though, he knew he'd be home early, in time to go to church.

When he walked in at 6am Sunday morning, he said hello and even though I was half asleep I could tell something was wrong. He was either sick or hadn't slept all night. I asked him how he felt, and he shook his head. "I feel terrible," he said. 'I'm sick."

Steve hates being sick. He hates admitting he's sick--he always wants to tough it out without medicine or pity. So I knew he was really feeling awful when he allowed me to give him cold medicine.

When I checked on him a few hours later (20 minutes before we were supposed to leave for church), he still had a temperature of 101. Turns out that the Army decided he had to have a flu shot immediately before working for 24 hours straight. Luckily, he did have the rest of Sunday and Monday off, which he spent resting, recovering and not going to church.

As he went off to work this morning, he said he felt better. Not 100 percent, but better. I, on the other hand, woke up sneezing and coughing with a pounding headache.

Thanks a lot, Army.

Cell Phone PTSD

On Saturday, Steve diagnosed me with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, which is found among people who experienced distressing or traumatic situations. PTSD is often diagnosed in veterans, as wartime events and situations can have lasting psychological effects. Effects of PTSD include depression, fits of anger, insomnia and jumping at loud noises, to name a few. My symptoms are manifested in the obsession I have with my cell phone.

I'm not trying to make light of real PTSD, but I have gotten into quite a neurotic pattern of behavior regarding the phone.

While Steve was deployed, I didn't know when he would be able to call. During the first several months of his deployment, it was often a week or two in between phone calls, and he usually only had a brief window of time in which to talk. He might call while I was at work or asleep, so I had to have the phone nearby. Also, since I didn't live close his Army base (we were only engaged at this time), I had no way of getting information. I would sometimes receive an email that someone from Steve's company had been wounded, but that the family had not been contacted yet, so they wouldn't give out names. At those times all the company families kept their phones close at hand.

During Steve's 15-month deployment, my phone was constantly at my side. I never turned it off. I carried it around the gym with me and left the volume on high if I was in the shower. I was extremely blessed to have understanding employers who allowed me to bring my phone to meetings and take my lunch break at odd hours so that I could talk to Steve if he called. One time I got halfway to work, checked for my phone, and remembered I'd left it on the sink (I kept it where I could see it light up while drying my hair). I knew I'd be late if I went back, but I turned around. I had to have it with me.

Every time the phone rang, I jumped a mile. If it rang, I answered it. I took every call from unknown or restricted numbers, in case it was Steve or someone who might be calling to say he'd been hurt. I would imagine I'd hear it ringing even when it wasn't.

Even though Steve's been home for a year and a half, I'm only beginning to recover from my obsessive cell phone behavior. As we got into the car on Saturday, I bragged to him how I'd left my phone there while cheering him on in the triathlon. He shook his head. "I think you have PTSD," he said, as I checked my phone to make sure I hadn't missed any calls.

"No I don't," I replied, but then leaned over to check if there were any voicemails on his phone.

Let’s get real.

Let's be honest here--I've been terrible about getting blog posts up. And after much soul searching, I've realized why: I've been waiting to write until I have something profound, witty or universal to share. And to be honest (I know this will shock you all), that kind of deep literary eloquence doesn't occur to me on a daily basis. Hence the long periods of silence while I agonize over what to post that will simultaneously appeal to military and civilian folk, men and women, Christians and non-Christians, Tom Clancy and Jane Austen fans.

So, forget it.

I'm just going to write about real life, and leave the pretension for after I've earned it.

New Website for Military Wives!

I'd like to announce the arrival of an informative, social-networking site for military wives, girlfriends and fiancees:

www.ILoveAMilitaryMan.com

There are several regular bloggers (including yours truly) and a forum to ask questions and connect with others who may be in a similar situation to yours, or who've been through it before.

If you're looking for advice on how to deal with deployment, moving or what to send in a care package, check this website for tried and true tips. Or, pass on your wisdom and help others!

Here are the blogs I've written so far:

The Army Wife Mystique

You Know You're an Army Wife When...You're Married, but Still Attend Weddings Alone

While you're there, look for other blog posts on saving money with military discounts and get travel secrets from the pros--long-distance military girlfriends!

Check us out and let me know what you think.