Yesterday's Fourth of July post was a little corny, I know – but today's might not be any better, because it's our first anniversary!
Being married for a year certainly does not mean I know everything about being an Army wife. Very, very far from it. But here is a list of things I believe Army Wives should be told immediately upon marrying the military:
- Learn your Army acronyms - or at least learn to nod along when someone is telling a story and uses five you don't know. You can look them up later, but the story probably won't make sense to you at the time, so look for clues from the speaker. If he or she laughs at the end, do the same.
- Being shy won't win you any friends. As someone who moved in the middle of high school, I can tell you that the same principles apply. You need to be aggressive and outgoing! Assume everyone else in your new unit has been there for a while and has already established their "regular crowd." You have to find one to join, because they probably won't come looking for you.
- Prepare to spend a good, long time job hunting. Unfortunately, most Army bases are not next to big cities or metropolitan job meccas. If you're looking for a salaried nine-to-five, you may have to get creative about finding work, especially in this economic climate. One hint is to find out if any big corporations are headquartered in your area and check their website for jobs. Otherwise you could go blind looking through pages of Monster.com's "Part-time roofers needed" employment opportunities. Military One Source does have some good links on spouse employment. (Check my links.) If you're a teacher or nurse, you can disregard this one.
- Become a great emailer. If you want to keep friends once you've made them, email them regularly if you can't see them often. Find a time to send a personal note – mass updates are great for information dispersal, but when you're long distance, friendship fades without real connections.
- Keep track of your friends. You never know who you'll run into again. Moving around every couple of years doesn't necessarily mean you have to make new friends each time. Keep track of your old ones and chances are that you'll end up assigned together sometime in the future! Along with this, I suggest getting a virtual address book. Any book of handwritten addresses will become filled with cross-outs and arrows to new addresses. It'll just be a mess.
- Always find out from your husband (or another AW) what the appropriate dress is for each occasion. It can vary greatly, and being too casual or too dressy for an evening can be really awkward and uncomfortable.
- When you move somewhere new, find out where all the important landmarks are as soon as you can. This list will include hospital, vet, mechanic, doctor's office, dentist, closest Olive Garden, etc. Trust me; waiting until you really need to get there is not helpful for your stress level.
- You will end up doing things you never thought you'd need to learn. If you don't know how to fix a toilet, change a tire, mow the lawn, grill, caulk, cook, iron or do your taxes, have him show you before he deploys.
- Memorize his social security number. You need it for everything.
- Your attitude is vital. I won't lie; it's easy to get bummed out as an Army wife. He's in the field for three days, training for three weeks or deploying for a year, and you're upset. You can't join your family for vacation, because that week doesn't fall during block leave. Or maybe you just found out you're moving to Kansas. There are a lot of disappointments that come with the territory. While you should be honest with your soldier, your reactions make all the difference in the world to him. I've noticed that my attitude either lightens his load or makes his job 10 times more difficult. And while your commitment to the Army may not be lifelong, your commitment to each other is.
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