Too Close for Comfort

Warning: This isn't a lighthearted post...

I just learned that a friend's husband was killed in Afghanistan just a couple of weeks ago. The news has left me reeling; not from personal grief, since I'd never met him, but with vicarious shock and hurt and heartbreak. When one Army wife goes through something like this, it's hard not to identify with her and try to put yourself in her shoes.

I read an article on his life and service and couldn't help compare his Army experience to my husband's. Both Infantry officers, same rank, same training history: IOBC, MCCC, Ranger School and Airborne School. I looked through pictures of him with his wife (my friend) with their daughter, and one of the two of them from an Army event they attended the day Steve and I got married. In the picture, he's wearing the same dress blues that are hanging up on my husband's side of the closet.

I cried for a while, trying to imagine how she's feeling. As scared as we are of that event, I don't know if any Army wife really believes it will happen to her--otherwise, how could we live even somewhat normal lives? It's like having the wind knocked out of you to be reminded that real families receive such tragic news and have to live with its effects.

I marvel at my friend's strength. She still has daily life to deal with--raising a daughter, going to work, updating Facebook. And she's still doing all of those things, which is just amazing to me. Living with the reality that this could happen is difficult, and even sometimes debilitating; living with the reality that it has happened is infinitely worse. And I am fully aware that that doesn't even come close to describing it.

I'd like to ask everyone who reads this to say a prayer for my friend and her daughter today. I am including a link to the American Widow Project website, a non-military resource for military wives who've lost their hero husbands.