On Pride

I can't speak for all AWs, but I'm really tired of listening to Americans who say they're ashamed of their country.

Because Steve and I were just engaged while he was deployed last year, I wasn't living on base in a community of people who understood what I was going through. Though I met many people who were sympathetic to my situation (often they had a nephew in Afghanistan or a friend whose son was going to Iraq), most people felt removed from the whole War on Terror; it was something they saw on the news. Several times last year I found myself in a conversation with someone I'd just met, where they began to rant about the war in Iraq, Bush, how ashamed they were of America, or what a waste it is to be fighting the War on Terror. Some, interestingly enough, even claimed to be speaking for the soldiers, even though they'd admit that no, they didn't know any personally. And they expected me to join in the grumbling!

Instead, I'd let them go through their entire (frequently uneducated) diatribe, most often something they'd heard from an opinionated and probably equally tactless neighbor or coworker. Then I'd casually mention my fiancé, deployed in Iraq, fighting in support of Iraqi Freedom. I've never seen people stammer so much.

Of course, I don't begrudge them their own political views – I just don't need to listen to them belittle what my husband lays his life on the line to defend.

I haven't ever heard anyone besides Americans talk about being ashamed of their country; I have no idea when it became popular to feel this way. Even people from war-torn, poverty-stricken countries who've only barely escaped a corrupt government or lived through extreme persecution are still proud of their national heritage. Yes, they want a new start in a place where their families can be safe or have more opportunities…but they still love their homeland. I won't lie; I think we're doing a lot better than those places!

But we're a nation of imperfect people, led by imperfect leaders (and yes, that includes Obama – though I know that's a huge shock for some people!). We've always had presidents and other elected officials who've made mistakes. I'm not sure why, all of a sudden, people believe that America isn't worth respect.

The U.S. won't be able to always have policies that everyone believes in. We have been severely criticized for not doing anything when faced with major human rights violations such as the genocide in Rwanda, and yet the same critics will blast the U.S. for invading Iraq and removing a cruel dictator who was slaughtering his people – and we even stayed to help Iraq get back on its feet!

Sure, the U.S. has its problems - I'm not denying that. As a country, sometimes we make bad decisions with good intentions and we'll even make good decisions with selfish intentions. Despite these mistakes, I am still proud of my country.

I get asked a lot about what Steve and other soldiers think about the war in Iraq. I can't speak for them on their personal political convictions, but no matter what their views on the war, our soldiers aren't ashamed of their country. They may not always agree with the Commander-in-Chief, but they respect his office. They've all experienced too much to have a wide-eyed idealistic patriotism – but they do possess a down-to earth pride in the country they work to protect.

On Social Events

Even though moving doesn't really bother me, there is one aspect of Army life that does: frequently finding myself at uncomfortable social events.

I'm introverted by nature. I like reading and writing. Forced social situations, on the other hand, intimidate me. I like new people…I just don't enjoy meeting them. Inevitably I'll end up sitting silently next to someone I've just met, trying to think of an imaginative question to ask, but eventually I'll settle for a trite one. I really do love getting to know people, but I'm a one-on-one kind of person. I'd prefer meeting at a coffee shop in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Unfortunately, in Army Wife world, I get thrown into the social pool quite a bit. It's a little more than just meeting new people – there's a lot to consider. I don't go to business dinners with my husband; I attend formal military balls. When I meet his boss, I worry about whether or not to call him "sir" like Steve does, even though I'm not required to. I worry about rank and correct etiquette and trying to remember 50 names.

Plus, everyone's speaking some strange Army language that sounds like English but is really like a code for the initiated. I'm not fluent yet, but I have finally gotten to a point where I can understand most of what's going on. ("So, Christie, are you all going to PCS soon?" PCS stands for "permanent change of station;" basically, PCS = move. And yes, we are. See earlier post.)

To be honest, I haven't really found any tricks that help me remember names, and despite having met probably hundreds of people, I'm still uneasy in a room full of mere acquaintances. I would say that I feel shy the first four times I meet someone, and after that, I'll feel pretty relaxed.

Unfortunately, though, it's a difficult cycle: I'll do whatever I can to get out of a social function if I don't know anyone well, which means it takes me even more time to get to know the other women, so I'm uncomfortable for longer. I know these social events will be a way of life for as long as we're in the Army, and while the friends I meet make it worth it, I still don't get excited about them.

On Moving…

Currently, my daily life probably isn't that much different than anyone else's…except for the fact that I'm packing up to move for the third time since Steve and I got married, seven months ago. We've been stationed at Fort Riley, KS (the base Steve was deployed from throughout our engagement and our first married home – for a week); Fort Benning, GA (for Captain's Career Course, a six-month training assignment); and finally, we're headed to Eglin Air Force Base on the Florida panhandle, where Steve will be a Ranger Instructor for the Army's elite Ranger School. (Ranger School is the one you hear all the horror stories about – no food, no sleep, no contact. When I sat in the bleachers at Steve's Ranger School graduation, a somewhat bewildered Army girlfriend, an Army wife told me that Ranger School was harder for her than deployment, because they were able to communicate more while he was in Iraq.) More details about Ranger School later, though. Even though I've never actually been through the course, I could still probably write pages about it.

I know a lot of people aren't like me – I actually enjoy moving. I moved a few times growing up (even once internationally), and though we weren't a military family, it really helped prepare me for being an Army wife. I hated it the first few times, but gradually I started to look forward to new places and new people, which I'm grateful for now. It's still difficult, though, and a lot of wives have trouble with constant moving. It doesn't matter whether you work and have to find a new job, or you're a stay-at-home mom that has to help kids ease into new schools and make new friends while building your own support network. Every situation presents frustrations.

I would say that out of the women I've talked to in this "profession" (well, it definitely feels that way sometimes), location changes seem to inspire the second-most amount of dread, right behind the obvious – deployment. You get a chance to settle in, make some friends, find a church or a gym or a job…and then you're back to where you started, in new place with new challenges. And let's be honest – an Army base's location is very hit-or-miss. You can be stationed in exotic places like Hawaii, Italy, or Germany; beautiful places like Alaska, Seattle, or Colorado Springs…or you can end up in the middle of Kansas, Oklahoma, or Louisiana. No offense to anyone who's from any of those places. It's just that to a girl who grew up in the rolling hills of Virginia, close to the mountains, close to the city, and close to the ocean, being stationed in Manhattan, Kansas (the "Little Apple") sounds pretty depressing.

However, here's what I found out: Fort Riley is beautiful. It has rolling hills. It has a lake and a river. It has a huge country music festival with big-name stars every June. It turned out that, despite my East Coast prejudice towards the "Plain" state, I ended up liking the area. It wasn't perfect – more on the challenges of living in a military town later – but I also knew I wouldn't be there forever, so I was forced to focus on the good things while I had them.

Having that mentality helps. Right now, we love our church here in Georgia, Christ Community Church. We've met wonderful people there, and we feel very at home. I'm not looking forward to leaving, even though Columbus, GA isn't considered an enviable place to be stationed. However, Eglin AFB, our next home, is right on the Emerald Coast of Florida. And I am excited about that!