On Social Events

Even though moving doesn't really bother me, there is one aspect of Army life that does: frequently finding myself at uncomfortable social events.

I'm introverted by nature. I like reading and writing. Forced social situations, on the other hand, intimidate me. I like new people…I just don't enjoy meeting them. Inevitably I'll end up sitting silently next to someone I've just met, trying to think of an imaginative question to ask, but eventually I'll settle for a trite one. I really do love getting to know people, but I'm a one-on-one kind of person. I'd prefer meeting at a coffee shop in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Unfortunately, in Army Wife world, I get thrown into the social pool quite a bit. It's a little more than just meeting new people – there's a lot to consider. I don't go to business dinners with my husband; I attend formal military balls. When I meet his boss, I worry about whether or not to call him "sir" like Steve does, even though I'm not required to. I worry about rank and correct etiquette and trying to remember 50 names.

Plus, everyone's speaking some strange Army language that sounds like English but is really like a code for the initiated. I'm not fluent yet, but I have finally gotten to a point where I can understand most of what's going on. ("So, Christie, are you all going to PCS soon?" PCS stands for "permanent change of station;" basically, PCS = move. And yes, we are. See earlier post.)

To be honest, I haven't really found any tricks that help me remember names, and despite having met probably hundreds of people, I'm still uneasy in a room full of mere acquaintances. I would say that I feel shy the first four times I meet someone, and after that, I'll feel pretty relaxed.

Unfortunately, though, it's a difficult cycle: I'll do whatever I can to get out of a social function if I don't know anyone well, which means it takes me even more time to get to know the other women, so I'm uncomfortable for longer. I know these social events will be a way of life for as long as we're in the Army, and while the friends I meet make it worth it, I still don't get excited about them.